Woody Allen's Melinda and Melinda (drama, romcom)
6.5/10
I believe this movie can best be summed up by the phrase, "Huh. Well, that was neat." Truth be told, I've never found Woody Allen films to be among my favourites. Hell, most times I don't even find them tolerable. This movie is interesting, though.
The plot? Some friends are out to dinner, among them two polar-opposite writers. A friend tells a story about a girl, Melinda, and asks whether or not it is a comedy - Wallace Shawn's character's speciality - or a tragedy, preferred by Some Guy's character. Yeah, Some Guy. Didn't ring any bells. And he's no Wallace Shawn. Anyway, both men tell the story, but as a comedy and as a tragedy. We, the audience, get to watch their interpretations simultaneously.
As if that weren't potential for confusion enough, both stories feature Melinda (Radha Mitchell) as the main character. Yep, the same woman playing two roles, similar but completely different. Despite all that, I didn't get confused. Everything was easily placed into its respective storyline.
In the tragedy, Melinda drops in on old friends, both of whom are now married. She falls in love, only to have one of her friends have an affair with her new gentleman friend. Then she attempts to jump out a window, and that's that. Her gentleman friend is played by the ever charismatic Chiwetel Ejiofor (Love, Actually), and I must say I didn't recognize anyone else. Ah well. Ejiofor has a sweet name.
On the comedy end, Melinda drops in on some people she doesn't know after eating her weight in sleeping pills. They all become friends, because that's what you do when someone vomits on your carpet and might die any minute. They're both married couples, the main couple consisting of Some Lady and Hobie (Will Ferrell). Yeah, Hobie. He falls in love with Melinda and feels horrible about it. He goes to tell his wife that he loves someone else, and what do you know, the wife is in bed with Other Married Guy From Before! How perfectly convenient! Hobie is excited and calls Melinda, but she's just met some new beau, and he doesn't have the heart/balls to drop his bombshell. They hook up in the end. 'S'all good.
Both plots are interesting, and the actors do a good job, yet I can't help but feel something was missing. It wasn't that funny, and it wasn't that tragic, I suppose. I wanted to laugh outrageously and then have a good cry, but neither story was quite so theatrical. As it turns out, "realistic" isn't something I usually look for in movies. Who knew? I mean, my favourite movies usually involve zombies...
My verdict on this one is mixed, but I would recommend it to certain people. If you like Woody Allen, I'm sure you'll love this movie to pieces. If you liked the dichotomy of Love, Actually then you might also be interested. If multiple unrelated plots give you the heebie-jeebies, stay far far away.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Funny People
Judd Apatow's Funny People (comedy, drama)
5/10
Otherwise known as a 'dramedy', Judd Apatow's newest film missed the mark for me. In the famous words of Joey Tribbiani, "You're so far past the [mark] that you can't even see the [mark]! The [mark] is a dot to you!" Okay, so maybe not quite the same words, but you get the idea. Just picture his delivery, except closer to unimpressed than furiously angry.
I think I would have given Funny People a higher score if Apatow had just stuck to one idea. But nOoo. He sashayed in to the genre of drama with all of the poise and grace of Fred Astaire if Fred Astaire had been born without feet. I'm sure that I'm making mountains of molehills, but it really does irk me when someone steps out of their comfort zone only to end up with mediocrity at best. In this case, Judd Apatow was pretty on the ball in the comedy area. He has a distinct style of writing that some people find piss-yourself hilarious. I understand the desire to explore, but at least do it right, man.
Jim Carrey decided to put on his serious face, and he whipped out Eternal Sunshine. Robin Williams did Good Will Hunting. Hell, even Steve Carrell and Will Farrell played fairly serious characters (in Little Miss Sunshine and Stranger than Fiction, respectively). Poor Judd. He put himself out there, and all that came of it was incredibly forgettable, with the exception of Seth Rogan's weight loss. Looking really good, dude. Props. Unfortunately, if the major thing I remembered about a movie is that a lead actor was looking healthy, maybe the plot could have used a little work, amirite?
I have to say, I had high hopes for this one. Seth Rogan, Adam Sandler, and that chubby guy from Superbad who was pretty funny. I'll admit, I don't exactly expect much from Sandler anymore. He could be my father and he's still making dick jokes. At least Seth Rogan and Chubby Guy are young-ish, so it doesn't sound quite so awkwardly paternal. Listening to Adam Sandler talk about someone else's penis was actually kind of funny, for whatever reason. But listening to him talk about his own, even in a self-depricating small-penis way, made me feel like I was eavesdropping on the wrong conversation at the doctor's office. Blech.
Seth Rogan. I'll admit that I really didn't want to find him amusing, since he does that thing where a group of (always male wtf) comedy actors all do the same movies. He's a decent actor, though, so I'm willing to forgive the fact that he's got a dick clique.
Who's that chubby guy? Jonah Hill? Dude, you have GOT to start making movies without actors in wang gangs. I had no idea what your name was, and I'm me. I'll sit through the entire credits list to see if I was right about recognizing an extra, but I didn't know your name.
Jason Schwartzman, I don't like you. I'm sorry. I don't know why.
5/10
Otherwise known as a 'dramedy', Judd Apatow's newest film missed the mark for me. In the famous words of Joey Tribbiani, "You're so far past the [mark] that you can't even see the [mark]! The [mark] is a dot to you!" Okay, so maybe not quite the same words, but you get the idea. Just picture his delivery, except closer to unimpressed than furiously angry.
I think I would have given Funny People a higher score if Apatow had just stuck to one idea. But nOoo. He sashayed in to the genre of drama with all of the poise and grace of Fred Astaire if Fred Astaire had been born without feet. I'm sure that I'm making mountains of molehills, but it really does irk me when someone steps out of their comfort zone only to end up with mediocrity at best. In this case, Judd Apatow was pretty on the ball in the comedy area. He has a distinct style of writing that some people find piss-yourself hilarious. I understand the desire to explore, but at least do it right, man.
Jim Carrey decided to put on his serious face, and he whipped out Eternal Sunshine. Robin Williams did Good Will Hunting. Hell, even Steve Carrell and Will Farrell played fairly serious characters (in Little Miss Sunshine and Stranger than Fiction, respectively). Poor Judd. He put himself out there, and all that came of it was incredibly forgettable, with the exception of Seth Rogan's weight loss. Looking really good, dude. Props. Unfortunately, if the major thing I remembered about a movie is that a lead actor was looking healthy, maybe the plot could have used a little work, amirite?
I have to say, I had high hopes for this one. Seth Rogan, Adam Sandler, and that chubby guy from Superbad who was pretty funny. I'll admit, I don't exactly expect much from Sandler anymore. He could be my father and he's still making dick jokes. At least Seth Rogan and Chubby Guy are young-ish, so it doesn't sound quite so awkwardly paternal. Listening to Adam Sandler talk about someone else's penis was actually kind of funny, for whatever reason. But listening to him talk about his own, even in a self-depricating small-penis way, made me feel like I was eavesdropping on the wrong conversation at the doctor's office. Blech.
Seth Rogan. I'll admit that I really didn't want to find him amusing, since he does that thing where a group of (always male wtf) comedy actors all do the same movies. He's a decent actor, though, so I'm willing to forgive the fact that he's got a dick clique.
Who's that chubby guy? Jonah Hill? Dude, you have GOT to start making movies without actors in wang gangs. I had no idea what your name was, and I'm me. I'll sit through the entire credits list to see if I was right about recognizing an extra, but I didn't know your name.
Jason Schwartzman, I don't like you. I'm sorry. I don't know why.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Star Wars
Here goes nothing. I hope you're happy, Eric.
George Lucas' Star Wars (science fiction)
On a scale of 1 to OMG, I'd honestly put the original Star Wars trilogy at about a 'Meh'. Or a 6/10, if you want to get technical. And that six is generous.
Yeah, yeah, I know all of the arguments that are going to be raised, because I've heard them before. The main one I've come to know and counter: I know that it was visually epic for its time, but that's the thing. It isn't it's time anymore. It's not even close. I grew up watching Star Trek: The Next Generation, and to be quite honest, I thought it had better special effects as a television series than the original trilogy did as a however-many-million-dollar series.
Long story short, anyone who loves Star Wars because the special effects were amazing for their time is making excuses for themselves. Is there nothing else truly outstanding enough to warrant another point, or is that honestly the extent of the list? Because the way I see it, that's the only redeeming quality, and it isn't even redeeming. How can you people argue for a movie that uses Powerpoint effects to change scenes?!
Plot? Yawn. No, seriously. I thought parts were incredibly slow, sometimes even unnecessary. George Lucas may have had a more realistic view than Gene Roddenberry of how humans and space will interact, but Firefly did it better. That's right. I said it. Just because Star Wars did it first doesn't mean they did it best.
Actors? Shut up. You're arguing for a franchise that eventually created Jar-Jar Binks. And while I didn't even hate the poor guy, every self-respecting Star Wars fan sure does. Poor Jar-Jar. Anyway, the originals. The best characters either have no dialogue, or they're a dude in a furry suit. Or they're C-3PO. James Earl Jones has a great voice, no doubt, but they didn't put him in the Vader suit, now did they? Mark Hamill is very relateable if you're annoying and kind of a douche, Carrie Fisher isn't that hot -- not even in the bikini, and Indy? Seriously? I know he was Han before Indy, but I think what we're seeing is a classic case of an actor playing themselves again and again and again and...
Well, Eric, did you finish the entire thing?
Don't watch it. Grab ST:TNG and a beer and drink every time you can feel awkward sexual tension. You'll enjoy it more. Trust me.
George Lucas' Star Wars (science fiction)
On a scale of 1 to OMG, I'd honestly put the original Star Wars trilogy at about a 'Meh'. Or a 6/10, if you want to get technical. And that six is generous.
Yeah, yeah, I know all of the arguments that are going to be raised, because I've heard them before. The main one I've come to know and counter: I know that it was visually epic for its time, but that's the thing. It isn't it's time anymore. It's not even close. I grew up watching Star Trek: The Next Generation, and to be quite honest, I thought it had better special effects as a television series than the original trilogy did as a however-many-million-dollar series.
Long story short, anyone who loves Star Wars because the special effects were amazing for their time is making excuses for themselves. Is there nothing else truly outstanding enough to warrant another point, or is that honestly the extent of the list? Because the way I see it, that's the only redeeming quality, and it isn't even redeeming. How can you people argue for a movie that uses Powerpoint effects to change scenes?!
Plot? Yawn. No, seriously. I thought parts were incredibly slow, sometimes even unnecessary. George Lucas may have had a more realistic view than Gene Roddenberry of how humans and space will interact, but Firefly did it better. That's right. I said it. Just because Star Wars did it first doesn't mean they did it best.
Actors? Shut up. You're arguing for a franchise that eventually created Jar-Jar Binks. And while I didn't even hate the poor guy, every self-respecting Star Wars fan sure does. Poor Jar-Jar. Anyway, the originals. The best characters either have no dialogue, or they're a dude in a furry suit. Or they're C-3PO. James Earl Jones has a great voice, no doubt, but they didn't put him in the Vader suit, now did they? Mark Hamill is very relateable if you're annoying and kind of a douche, Carrie Fisher isn't that hot -- not even in the bikini, and Indy? Seriously? I know he was Han before Indy, but I think what we're seeing is a classic case of an actor playing themselves again and again and again and...
Well, Eric, did you finish the entire thing?
Don't watch it. Grab ST:TNG and a beer and drink every time you can feel awkward sexual tension. You'll enjoy it more. Trust me.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Return to House on Haunted Hill
Victor Garcia's Return to House on Haunted Hill (thriller, horror)
6/10
Oh, RtHoHH. How I wish I loved thee. Firstly, I know that I should probably give you lot a review for the first movie in the series, unsurprisingly dubbed House on Haunted Hill. Or even the original Vincent Price film of the same title. Unfortunately for continuity, I've seen RtHoHH very recently, and HoHH not recently at all. I'll put it up next, scout's honour.
The cast of the movie is really nothing to get excited over. The only name you may have heard before is Jeffrey Combs, and that's only if you're a fan of either Star Trek or the film Re-Animator. Granted, he's done other stuff, but those are his popularly known roles. If you're of the former, you'll know him primarily as Weyoun (DS9), Liquidator Brunt (DS9), Commander Shran (ENT), Krem (ENT), Penk (VOY), Tiron (DS9), or Officer Mulkahey (DS9). Yup. I love me some Jeff Combs. I didn't recognize any of the other cast members. Not important in this instance, though, since they weren't using cast members to sell the movie. I hope.
I'll sum up RtHoHH in a single sentence. There's a house on a hill, it's supposedly haunted and likes to kill people -- yes, folks, the house -- and people still keep going in. There's a reason for the visit, this time, though: a priceless artifact is probably somewhere in its depths. Cue one group of people entering the house to find the artifact and give it to a museum, and another who want to sell it and be rich forever. I am deeply and truly surprised. And utterly lacking in the sarcasm department.
I could have overlooked the somewhat cliche plot of a priceless artifact had the scares been good enough to keep me twitchy afterwards. Unfortunately, all of the spook got used up in the first movie, or something. Garcia, the director, relied far too heavily on elaborate ways to kill his characters and completely forgot to make it anything more than intriguing. The first kill reminded me too much of Thirteen Ghosts (the remake) to take it seriously, and it only went downhill from there.
I was a little grossed out after a particularly interesting scene involving Combs' character, the ghost of Dr. Vannacutt. (Yes, the house really is haunted. Do you think they would have been able to pull a sequel out of their asses if the basic premise wasn't even valid? No. Anyway.) Being a doctor, his ghost is dressed in a lab coat and carries with him many surgical instruments. Like, for instance, a scalpel. He's rather good with his scalpel. It was pretty icky, but that it didn't warrant an adjective stronger than 'icky' means it didn't actually scare me. And, to clarify, that statement is rather enormous. I have two anxiety disorders and at least one mild phobia (that I know of); if I don't understand how it could be scary, it isn't scary. That's it.
While I would recommend this movie to someone with a penchant for Jeffrey Combs, I can't in good conscience recommend it to many other people. I know I gave it more than a passing score, but think of it in university terms: as my father likes to say, six-oh and go. Simply put, if you can't do swimmingly, at least keep your ass off of academic probation and get a 60%. Well done, RtHoHH. You may not have escaped the wrath of the illustrious IMdB, but you six-oh-and-go'd well enough for me.
Watch it, maybe. Meh.
6/10
Oh, RtHoHH. How I wish I loved thee. Firstly, I know that I should probably give you lot a review for the first movie in the series, unsurprisingly dubbed House on Haunted Hill. Or even the original Vincent Price film of the same title. Unfortunately for continuity, I've seen RtHoHH very recently, and HoHH not recently at all. I'll put it up next, scout's honour.
The cast of the movie is really nothing to get excited over. The only name you may have heard before is Jeffrey Combs, and that's only if you're a fan of either Star Trek or the film Re-Animator. Granted, he's done other stuff, but those are his popularly known roles. If you're of the former, you'll know him primarily as Weyoun (DS9), Liquidator Brunt (DS9), Commander Shran (ENT), Krem (ENT), Penk (VOY), Tiron (DS9), or Officer Mulkahey (DS9). Yup. I love me some Jeff Combs. I didn't recognize any of the other cast members. Not important in this instance, though, since they weren't using cast members to sell the movie. I hope.
I'll sum up RtHoHH in a single sentence. There's a house on a hill, it's supposedly haunted and likes to kill people -- yes, folks, the house -- and people still keep going in. There's a reason for the visit, this time, though: a priceless artifact is probably somewhere in its depths. Cue one group of people entering the house to find the artifact and give it to a museum, and another who want to sell it and be rich forever. I am deeply and truly surprised. And utterly lacking in the sarcasm department.
I could have overlooked the somewhat cliche plot of a priceless artifact had the scares been good enough to keep me twitchy afterwards. Unfortunately, all of the spook got used up in the first movie, or something. Garcia, the director, relied far too heavily on elaborate ways to kill his characters and completely forgot to make it anything more than intriguing. The first kill reminded me too much of Thirteen Ghosts (the remake) to take it seriously, and it only went downhill from there.
I was a little grossed out after a particularly interesting scene involving Combs' character, the ghost of Dr. Vannacutt. (Yes, the house really is haunted. Do you think they would have been able to pull a sequel out of their asses if the basic premise wasn't even valid? No. Anyway.) Being a doctor, his ghost is dressed in a lab coat and carries with him many surgical instruments. Like, for instance, a scalpel. He's rather good with his scalpel. It was pretty icky, but that it didn't warrant an adjective stronger than 'icky' means it didn't actually scare me. And, to clarify, that statement is rather enormous. I have two anxiety disorders and at least one mild phobia (that I know of); if I don't understand how it could be scary, it isn't scary. That's it.
While I would recommend this movie to someone with a penchant for Jeffrey Combs, I can't in good conscience recommend it to many other people. I know I gave it more than a passing score, but think of it in university terms: as my father likes to say, six-oh and go. Simply put, if you can't do swimmingly, at least keep your ass off of academic probation and get a 60%. Well done, RtHoHH. You may not have escaped the wrath of the illustrious IMdB, but you six-oh-and-go'd well enough for me.
Watch it, maybe. Meh.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Sinbad of the Seven Seas
Enzo G. Castellari's Sinbad of the Seven Seas (fantasy)
8.5/10 or 2/10
Now, this is the first time that I've given a movie two grades. And I will tell you why. This is the first movie that I've reviewed for you that is so awful, so idiotically abysmal, that it has actually crossed some magical line into the land of hilarious. Through some unfortunate twist of fate, Sinbad of the Seven Seas is a movie that will confuse the hell out of me, make me want to throw myself at the television, and then re-watch it because it was so damn funny.
This will be a pretty short review, as there isn't much to say about the cast. Cast as Sinbad himself is Lou Ferrigno, at-least-two-time winner of Mr. Universe. So you know it's only going downhill from here. Picture the Governator in a loincloth, with a slightly larger head, and you've got our boy Lou.
You've probably never heard of any of the other cast members, so I won't bother mentioning them. Hell, unless you grew up in Italy, you haven't even heard of the director. I should ask around in the Italian Department to see if any of the professors have ever heard of this film abomination.
The plot is fairly standard: man saves beautiful lady from evil sorcerer. Except, in this case, while Ferrigno does most of the saving -- being by far the burliest of his buddies -- he doesn't get the girl. He's saving his friend's girl. Yeah, I don't get it either, but I guess these guys are tight, or something. Anyway, Sinbad has to find some crystals that will... do something, and then the sorcerer won't be able to rule the world. Because all evil sorcerers want to do is rule the world.
Sounds pretty standard so far, right? It gets better. I've mentioned that the director was Italian. Well, so was essentially the entire cast, but the movie was all in English. At some point during the editing process, somebody decided that all those Italian accents were too hard to understand. So, and I kid you not, they dubbed over the entire English movie. With more English. Fortunately, Lou Ferrigno got to keep his own voice, but he still had to re-do everything and dub himself over. You can't understand the stupidity and hilarity until you see it for yourself, as some of the "less Italian" voices they chose made me want to cry.
And I haven't even talked about the acting. There's a reason: it's all crap. Not a single person in the movie can act, except for maybe our damsel in distress Princess Whatsername. Lou sure can't. But do you know what he can do? Run, in slow motion, with oiled-up muscles, on a beach. Oh, yeah. I'm not kidding. You don't know pain until you've watched Lou Ferrigno's man-boobs jiggling to and fro. I believe that jiggling man-boobs -- fine, fine: pectorals -- are the main cause of ocular hemorrhage. That's bleeding eyes, for those of you who weren't paying attention in biology. Not that you learned about bleeding eyes. I digress.
My favourite character is this witch woman who pops in a third of the way in to the film to help out the bad guy. She gets no introduction and has no reason for being there. She just appears one time in a shot, and they decided to keep her around. And not for her looks. She's rocking the David Bowie in Labyrinth hairstyle, and a black, sleeveless swimsuit-esque unitard that is far, far too tight. I was constantly afraid that her incredibly saggy breasts were going to fall out and that my eyes were going to pack their bags and leave altogether. The fact that she made a much more attractive man than she did a woman was a bit startling as well. Plus, her dubbed voice is awful. Did I mention that she has no reason to be there?
I also want to personally thank the writers of this script for coming up with some of the worst dialogue ever written. This way, George Lucas will have an example of what not to do that wasn't created by him! I will now insert a small quote from the film.
Sinbad: "Wait a minute, wait a minute! Where is everybody? There's nobody here!"
Poochie: "...there's nobody here!"
Sinbad: "I just said that. That's the point! ..."
By, "that's the point", he means, "that's why I said it, damn it all!" Oh, and yeah, there's a character named Poochie the Dwarf. No lie. Ah, the dialogue. Priceless.
Because this is such an obvious B-grade movie, a copy is damn hard to track down. As always, if you know me in person, ask for my copy. You will not regret it. Well, actually, you really will, but in a good way. You'll never be the same again. Ever.
Watch it.
8.5/10 or 2/10
Now, this is the first time that I've given a movie two grades. And I will tell you why. This is the first movie that I've reviewed for you that is so awful, so idiotically abysmal, that it has actually crossed some magical line into the land of hilarious. Through some unfortunate twist of fate, Sinbad of the Seven Seas is a movie that will confuse the hell out of me, make me want to throw myself at the television, and then re-watch it because it was so damn funny.
This will be a pretty short review, as there isn't much to say about the cast. Cast as Sinbad himself is Lou Ferrigno, at-least-two-time winner of Mr. Universe. So you know it's only going downhill from here. Picture the Governator in a loincloth, with a slightly larger head, and you've got our boy Lou.
You've probably never heard of any of the other cast members, so I won't bother mentioning them. Hell, unless you grew up in Italy, you haven't even heard of the director. I should ask around in the Italian Department to see if any of the professors have ever heard of this film abomination.
The plot is fairly standard: man saves beautiful lady from evil sorcerer. Except, in this case, while Ferrigno does most of the saving -- being by far the burliest of his buddies -- he doesn't get the girl. He's saving his friend's girl. Yeah, I don't get it either, but I guess these guys are tight, or something. Anyway, Sinbad has to find some crystals that will... do something, and then the sorcerer won't be able to rule the world. Because all evil sorcerers want to do is rule the world.
Sounds pretty standard so far, right? It gets better. I've mentioned that the director was Italian. Well, so was essentially the entire cast, but the movie was all in English. At some point during the editing process, somebody decided that all those Italian accents were too hard to understand. So, and I kid you not, they dubbed over the entire English movie. With more English. Fortunately, Lou Ferrigno got to keep his own voice, but he still had to re-do everything and dub himself over. You can't understand the stupidity and hilarity until you see it for yourself, as some of the "less Italian" voices they chose made me want to cry.
And I haven't even talked about the acting. There's a reason: it's all crap. Not a single person in the movie can act, except for maybe our damsel in distress Princess Whatsername. Lou sure can't. But do you know what he can do? Run, in slow motion, with oiled-up muscles, on a beach. Oh, yeah. I'm not kidding. You don't know pain until you've watched Lou Ferrigno's man-boobs jiggling to and fro. I believe that jiggling man-boobs -- fine, fine: pectorals -- are the main cause of ocular hemorrhage. That's bleeding eyes, for those of you who weren't paying attention in biology. Not that you learned about bleeding eyes. I digress.
My favourite character is this witch woman who pops in a third of the way in to the film to help out the bad guy. She gets no introduction and has no reason for being there. She just appears one time in a shot, and they decided to keep her around. And not for her looks. She's rocking the David Bowie in Labyrinth hairstyle, and a black, sleeveless swimsuit-esque unitard that is far, far too tight. I was constantly afraid that her incredibly saggy breasts were going to fall out and that my eyes were going to pack their bags and leave altogether. The fact that she made a much more attractive man than she did a woman was a bit startling as well. Plus, her dubbed voice is awful. Did I mention that she has no reason to be there?
I also want to personally thank the writers of this script for coming up with some of the worst dialogue ever written. This way, George Lucas will have an example of what not to do that wasn't created by him! I will now insert a small quote from the film.
Sinbad: "Wait a minute, wait a minute! Where is everybody? There's nobody here!"
Poochie: "...there's nobody here!"
Sinbad: "I just said that. That's the point! ..."
By, "that's the point", he means, "that's why I said it, damn it all!" Oh, and yeah, there's a character named Poochie the Dwarf. No lie. Ah, the dialogue. Priceless.
Because this is such an obvious B-grade movie, a copy is damn hard to track down. As always, if you know me in person, ask for my copy. You will not regret it. Well, actually, you really will, but in a good way. You'll never be the same again. Ever.
Watch it.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Tin Man
Nick Willing's Tin Man (drama, sci-fi, fantasy)
8.5 / 10
Okay, so this is technically a TV mini-series, but whatever. It was released on DVD. It's got three 1.5-hour chunks spanning two discs, so it's about the same length as your average Lord of the Rings movie. Zing! Plus, it's one of the coolest Wizard of Oz adaptions ever made, so it deserves praise and... praise.
The cast. The cast! Zooey Deschanel pops up again in my reviews. I swear, it's as though she has the sense to pick good movies, or something. Weird. As usual, she plays the cute, mostly-confused character surrounded by weirdos and/or in some odd situation. Like Elf, Hitchhiker's, The Happening... You get the idea, right? Zooey is a cutie-patootie, but methinks she needs to pull a Jim Carrey a la Eternal Sunshine and break free of her typecast. I will say that she makes a pretty good new-age Dorothy Gale, or "D.G.", though.
Alongside Ms. Adorablepants is the frickin' amazing Alan Cumming, better known for his role as Nightcrawler in the X-Men series. Did you know this guy is Scottish?! I've seen him in a handful of roles now with German, British and American accents, but the guy is from Scotland. Fan-freaking-tastic. I had no idea whatsoever. I figured the British wasn't real, but the American accent had me convinced. He's his usual awesome self, playing the reincarnation of the Scarecrow. And if you don't finish Tin Man loving him and his character, you have no heart. Segue!
Neal McDonough, who you've probably seen and forgotten about, played an itty-bitty role in Minority Report, and apparently showed up at some point during Star Trek: First Contact, but I only remember him in the former. Despite a long list of credentials, the poor guy is relegated to the "Oh Hey, That Guy" list. He plays our Tin Man, and is essentially the other protaganist alongside D.G. There's a lot of plot surrounding his family, and not nearly as much about the Scarecrow or the Lion. Segue!
Raoul Trujillo. Oh. My. God. If you haven't seen the film Frankenfish, ask me for my copy and you can borrow it. Watch it several times. It only gets better. B-grade monster movies make me so happy. Maybe you've seen him in something else, but I sure haven't. Raoul plays our Lion, though the story doesn't make him out to be as cowardly as his predecessor. And the other characters keep commenting on his so-called cowardice. But I didn't notice any. Seriously. Raoul is the man, and that's all I need to say.
The general idea of the story is the same. D.G. is plopped in the OZ, or the Outer Zone, and tries to figure out why she's there. However, they've added themselves a hell of a lot of side stories, like D.G.'s parents. Instead of a green-skinned ugly witch, we have the lovely Kathleen Robertson as Azkedellia, our evil witch of the West. Er, of the OZ. Whatever. The Wizard is instead The Mystic Man, and you'll pee yourself when you see what they've done with Toto.
So basically, the Scarecrow wants his brain back -- it was stolen by Azkadellia for reasons that, obviously, he can't remember. The Tin Man is an ex-cop who was forced to watch the baddies torture his family over and over. (Fun tidbit: In Tin Man, the term 'tin man' actually refers to OZ police officers.) Finally, the Lion is a telepathic -- yep -- lion-man who doesn't really have much motive to tag along in the story, but does anyway... because Raoul Trujillo is amazing, and the movie needed more of him. And last, but not least, D.G. is trying to stop Azkadellia from throwing the entire OZ into eternal darkness. You know, the usual. She's also trying to figure out why she feels as though she's been in the OZ before... Ooh, spooky.
If I haven't convinced you to watch this movie yet, I apologize. I'll start threatening next. Watch it. Seriously. This movie... sorry, TV mini-series, is well-written, the score is incredible, the characters are the same and yet completely different from the original film, Raoul Trujillo is in it... Sorry, I can't get past that. When I realized who he was, I almost had a fit in the middle of the computer lab. There are literally tears of glee in my eyes as I type this.
Watch it.
8.5 / 10
Okay, so this is technically a TV mini-series, but whatever. It was released on DVD. It's got three 1.5-hour chunks spanning two discs, so it's about the same length as your average Lord of the Rings movie. Zing! Plus, it's one of the coolest Wizard of Oz adaptions ever made, so it deserves praise and... praise.
The cast. The cast! Zooey Deschanel pops up again in my reviews. I swear, it's as though she has the sense to pick good movies, or something. Weird. As usual, she plays the cute, mostly-confused character surrounded by weirdos and/or in some odd situation. Like Elf, Hitchhiker's, The Happening... You get the idea, right? Zooey is a cutie-patootie, but methinks she needs to pull a Jim Carrey a la Eternal Sunshine and break free of her typecast. I will say that she makes a pretty good new-age Dorothy Gale, or "D.G.", though.
Alongside Ms. Adorablepants is the frickin' amazing Alan Cumming, better known for his role as Nightcrawler in the X-Men series. Did you know this guy is Scottish?! I've seen him in a handful of roles now with German, British and American accents, but the guy is from Scotland. Fan-freaking-tastic. I had no idea whatsoever. I figured the British wasn't real, but the American accent had me convinced. He's his usual awesome self, playing the reincarnation of the Scarecrow. And if you don't finish Tin Man loving him and his character, you have no heart. Segue!
Neal McDonough, who you've probably seen and forgotten about, played an itty-bitty role in Minority Report, and apparently showed up at some point during Star Trek: First Contact, but I only remember him in the former. Despite a long list of credentials, the poor guy is relegated to the "Oh Hey, That Guy" list. He plays our Tin Man, and is essentially the other protaganist alongside D.G. There's a lot of plot surrounding his family, and not nearly as much about the Scarecrow or the Lion. Segue!
Raoul Trujillo. Oh. My. God. If you haven't seen the film Frankenfish, ask me for my copy and you can borrow it. Watch it several times. It only gets better. B-grade monster movies make me so happy. Maybe you've seen him in something else, but I sure haven't. Raoul plays our Lion, though the story doesn't make him out to be as cowardly as his predecessor. And the other characters keep commenting on his so-called cowardice. But I didn't notice any. Seriously. Raoul is the man, and that's all I need to say.
The general idea of the story is the same. D.G. is plopped in the OZ, or the Outer Zone, and tries to figure out why she's there. However, they've added themselves a hell of a lot of side stories, like D.G.'s parents. Instead of a green-skinned ugly witch, we have the lovely Kathleen Robertson as Azkedellia, our evil witch of the West. Er, of the OZ. Whatever. The Wizard is instead The Mystic Man, and you'll pee yourself when you see what they've done with Toto.
So basically, the Scarecrow wants his brain back -- it was stolen by Azkadellia for reasons that, obviously, he can't remember. The Tin Man is an ex-cop who was forced to watch the baddies torture his family over and over. (Fun tidbit: In Tin Man, the term 'tin man' actually refers to OZ police officers.) Finally, the Lion is a telepathic -- yep -- lion-man who doesn't really have much motive to tag along in the story, but does anyway... because Raoul Trujillo is amazing, and the movie needed more of him. And last, but not least, D.G. is trying to stop Azkadellia from throwing the entire OZ into eternal darkness. You know, the usual. She's also trying to figure out why she feels as though she's been in the OZ before... Ooh, spooky.
If I haven't convinced you to watch this movie yet, I apologize. I'll start threatening next. Watch it. Seriously. This movie... sorry, TV mini-series, is well-written, the score is incredible, the characters are the same and yet completely different from the original film, Raoul Trujillo is in it... Sorry, I can't get past that. When I realized who he was, I almost had a fit in the middle of the computer lab. There are literally tears of glee in my eyes as I type this.
Watch it.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
The Night Listener
Patrick Stettner's The Night Listener (thriller, drama)
7.5 / 10
I struggled for a while trying to decide on a score for this movie, and I'm still not entirely sure if I've hit the mark. The Night Listener was definitely a good movie, but something about it made me feel it wasn't a great movie. Maybe I'll understand more as I go.
Yes, I talk about the plot, but I don't give anything away. Scout's honour.
Cast-wise, I don't think better actors could have been picked for these roles. Robin Williams, in one of his many "I swear I'm not just funny" films, plays Gabe Noone, a late-night radio show host. He tells stories about his life, often stretching the truth, and comes across a patch of writer's block. He is given a copy of a book written by a young boy named Pete, telling about the child's traumatic experiences at the hands of sexually abusive parents and friends. Pete is played by Rory Culkin -- yes, the younger brother of Macauley Culkin -- and does a damn fine job for a teenage actor. You may have seen the young lad in MNS's Signs.
Gabe starts talking to Pete on the phone after discovering that Pete has AIDS. Pete is his "biggest fan", and they develop a telephone friendship between Pete's visits to the hospital. Toni Collette plays Donna, Pete's adoptive mother. She plays Donna incredibly well, evoking the correct emotions from the audience at every point in the movie. Eventually, questions begin arising concerning Pete, as the book agent who provided Pete's story never actually met him, or his mother. Gabe's partner, Jess (played by the ever-charismatic Bobby Cannavale), begins doubting Donna and Pete's sincerity after the mother and son conveniently avoid meeting Gabe in person on a handful of occasions. Drama ensues.
Spoilery: One aspect of the movie that I particularly enjoyed involved the over-the-phone scenes with Pete and Donna. Because Gabe has no idea of what Donna looks like, she is portrayed as, presumably, what Gabe wants her to be. However, later in the movie, Gabe is confronted with the "real" Donna, and she isn't quite what he expected. Done spoiling.
The Night Listener title relates to the cinemetography, as well as the plot. Very many scenes took place at night, or in dark places, giving the movie a bit of a creepier feel than it would have in a bright, cheery, sun-filled environment. Plus, most of the daytime that the audience gets to see is cloudy and gray. Spooky! Or something.
For some reason, most reviews I've read of this movie focus on the fact that Robin Williams and Bobby Cannavale play -- gasp -- gay men. OH NOES. Okay, so maybe I'm more liberal than most reviewers, but I thought that it added depth to Gabe's relationship with Pete, since Bobby's character Jess was diagnosed with AIDS as well. We're told through dialogue that Gabe is the type to want to protect others, and that he did so with Jess; it's a nice touch to see him try to protect Pete. If there was any homosexual interaction between Gabe and Pete, I could understand reviewers pulling out their 'Marriage Is Sacred' signs and hopping around with their Bibles. But nope, it's platonic, and cute in a father-son way. Nice try, extremists.
Watch it. I have a copy, and you can borrow it. Seriously. It isn't scary, but it is creepy, and I like it.
7.5 / 10
I struggled for a while trying to decide on a score for this movie, and I'm still not entirely sure if I've hit the mark. The Night Listener was definitely a good movie, but something about it made me feel it wasn't a great movie. Maybe I'll understand more as I go.
Yes, I talk about the plot, but I don't give anything away. Scout's honour.
Cast-wise, I don't think better actors could have been picked for these roles. Robin Williams, in one of his many "I swear I'm not just funny" films, plays Gabe Noone, a late-night radio show host. He tells stories about his life, often stretching the truth, and comes across a patch of writer's block. He is given a copy of a book written by a young boy named Pete, telling about the child's traumatic experiences at the hands of sexually abusive parents and friends. Pete is played by Rory Culkin -- yes, the younger brother of Macauley Culkin -- and does a damn fine job for a teenage actor. You may have seen the young lad in MNS's Signs.
Gabe starts talking to Pete on the phone after discovering that Pete has AIDS. Pete is his "biggest fan", and they develop a telephone friendship between Pete's visits to the hospital. Toni Collette plays Donna, Pete's adoptive mother. She plays Donna incredibly well, evoking the correct emotions from the audience at every point in the movie. Eventually, questions begin arising concerning Pete, as the book agent who provided Pete's story never actually met him, or his mother. Gabe's partner, Jess (played by the ever-charismatic Bobby Cannavale), begins doubting Donna and Pete's sincerity after the mother and son conveniently avoid meeting Gabe in person on a handful of occasions. Drama ensues.
Spoilery: One aspect of the movie that I particularly enjoyed involved the over-the-phone scenes with Pete and Donna. Because Gabe has no idea of what Donna looks like, she is portrayed as, presumably, what Gabe wants her to be. However, later in the movie, Gabe is confronted with the "real" Donna, and she isn't quite what he expected. Done spoiling.
The Night Listener title relates to the cinemetography, as well as the plot. Very many scenes took place at night, or in dark places, giving the movie a bit of a creepier feel than it would have in a bright, cheery, sun-filled environment. Plus, most of the daytime that the audience gets to see is cloudy and gray. Spooky! Or something.
For some reason, most reviews I've read of this movie focus on the fact that Robin Williams and Bobby Cannavale play -- gasp -- gay men. OH NOES. Okay, so maybe I'm more liberal than most reviewers, but I thought that it added depth to Gabe's relationship with Pete, since Bobby's character Jess was diagnosed with AIDS as well. We're told through dialogue that Gabe is the type to want to protect others, and that he did so with Jess; it's a nice touch to see him try to protect Pete. If there was any homosexual interaction between Gabe and Pete, I could understand reviewers pulling out their 'Marriage Is Sacred' signs and hopping around with their Bibles. But nope, it's platonic, and cute in a father-son way. Nice try, extremists.
Watch it. I have a copy, and you can borrow it. Seriously. It isn't scary, but it is creepy, and I like it.
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